i don't want to belong to this field. i don't want to be the people who belong to this field. r is a bully, and also seems completely unaware of how shitty that kind of behavior is. or she does know it, and thinks it's totally appropriate to bully me, maybe, because i'm her subordinate (and also because she happens to disagree with me). either way, it's shitty. it's an abuse of power. i wish i could make her as ashamed of her behavior as i am for her, but i don't think it's possible to do that—and it definitely wouldn't be a good use of my time. but oh my fucking god. telling people their ideas are wrong—because naive, because misinformed, because they contradict her ideas and ideology, and then asking (in a pseudo-friendly/jokey/casual way) them to recant them—is not what facebook is for. fuck you, r.

last night's party was depressing. being there with a wasn't much fun—although, really, no one else at the party was much fun either. fuck universities, man. i hate other smart people. we're really awful, and we're all convinced we're so important.